El Paso, Rich Part of Town – City officials were happy to announce that they had reached an agreement with the resident of the Upper Valley on what to do with Country Club Road.
After years of kicking around ideas of how to make the road less congested, but still exclusive the City of El Paso decided to dedicate the road to only those who enjoy, and can afford, a Mercedes automobile. No other types of cars will be allowed on the road starting in May, 2009.
Residents in the area were overjoyed at the City’s decision and immediately began planning an exclusive gala to be held at the country club in celebration of the change.
Upper Valley resident, Paul Levin III said, “requiring that motorists have a Mercedes to travel this road should eliminate the bulk of the traffic in this area.” he added, “it will be nice to have a break from the poor people looking at our beautiful homes as they sit their in traffic each morning and evening.”
The Upper Valley community group that formed with the idea of making the road more exclusive said that their only other alternative was to erect a wall between themselves and the poor people of New Mexico.
Mercedes Benz’s corporate spokesperson issued a short response to today’s ruling via email. It read:
“We at Mercedes Benz are very excited that El Paso has taken steps to protect our valued customers from the filthy Americans who can not afford our fine automobile. We only hope more communities will follow their lead in protecting the only people that matter in the world – Mercedes owners.”
BMW owners were outraged at the ruling, but could not afford to mount a campaign against the move seeing as how they are all imposters and in debt up to their eyes already.
Thank Goodness those wild frijoles are allowed loose on El Paso streets